If it’s not been made obvious by now, I started Zoloft yesterday for major depressive disorder.
It’s seemed to screw with me, physically and mentally.
Besides the nausea, dizzy-spells and gagging I’ve experienced, I woke up in the middle of the night suddenly questioning every decision I was making…in almost every aspect of my life.
I suddenly had a strong desire to move to California. I could go to film school and skip all the nonsense of UT. I started wondering why I was even at UT to begin with. I don’t want to be a journalist. I want to make movies. I want to write screenplays and tell stories. Journalism is telling stories as well, but you don’t get to make them up.
I started to wonder a lot of things…did I even want to make movies? Could I even survive in such an expensive state like California? How could I manage?
I sat in my bed at 3 o’clock in the morning literally reevaluating my life and what my next step would be. And what’s scary is that I feel like for the first time in forever, I’ve begun to think clearly, even though it completely seems irrational.
Day 1 of Zoloft. About to go into day 2.