I’m bringing this back from the dead.
As I look around my room, I see a disaster zone. Ground zero. Like a tornado flew in here and destroyed everything. Except, it was never whole to begin with. I was so rushed to move in that I didn’t really have time to organize, especially since getting thrown back into school. Or, perhaps, I’m just an unorganized person.
I’ve found myself deeply embarrassed by the condition of it. I can’t stand for people to see it this way. My stuff is also seeping into the living area and kitchen and I’m afraid I’m a burden to my roommates.
But I have to learn to let it go. I have to learn to accept that this is just what is. It’s nothing to be embarrassed or worried about. Still, I can’t help worrying about this kind of thing. I find that I worry about it far more than I actually do anything to remedy the situation. I get to the point where I worry so much about it that when it comes time to do something about it, I’m far too mentally worn out. My worrying becomes part of the chore itself and I’m left feeling ridiculously overwhelmed.
Thoughts are something that we can’t control. So we need to learn to recognize thoughts and let them go. But it’s figuring out how to do this that’s the problem. I cannot just…let things be.
Maybe I’ll figure it out one day.